The past year in Toulouse has been a period of recharging, recalibration, and renewal. What began as a simple desire to step away from a life that no longer aligned with my goals, unexpectedly unfolded into a profound journey of self-healing—one I never anticipated. I knew that living in France would change me, but I couldn’t have predicted just how transformative it would be. I am undeniably a different person now than I was a year ago. It’s a strange feeling—I'm still myself, yet somehow, I’ve become someone else.
One of my yoga students asked me, “How did you know France is for you?”
The truth is, I didn’t. But I began by acknowledging what wasn’t right for me. With that clarity, I mustered the courage to admit that Singapore wasn’t where I belonged. My decision baffled many—after all, Singapore is celebrated for its safety, cleanliness, and convenience. What more could I possibly want?
Yet, despite being surrounded by family and friends, I often felt like a stranger in my own homeland. Loneliness persisted, even amidst familiarity. My values didn’t align with the societal norms I grew up with, and I had always grappled with finding my place. Deep within, I knew my purpose was far greater than what staying in Singapore could offer. I had to embark on a journey to seek my truth.
“We search for happiness everywhere, but we are like Tolstoy’s fabled beggar who spent his life sitting on a pot of gold, under him the whole time. Your treasure–your perfection–is within you already. But to claim it, you must leave the buy commotion of the mind and abandon the desires of the ego and enter into the silence of the heart.” – Eat, pray, love by Elizabeth Gilbert
The paradox of self-discovery is that, in order to truly find yourself, you must first lose yourself. And that’s precisely what I did—I left behind the familiarity of home in search of something deeper. Putting Wiy Yoga, a project I had poured my heart and soul into, on pause to uproot myself in Toulouse was not a decision I made lightly. Yet, it was a necessary one, as I sought answers in the quiet space away from Singapore. Living abroad gave me the solitude and distance required to face my inner demons and begin the painful, yet essential, process of healing.
What have I learned in this journey of self-discovery?
One - Embrace Mental Flexibility
This lesson was one of the hardest for me. When I arrived in France, I had one singular objective in mind. Ten months in, that goal felt out of reach. Limited job opportunities, an uncertain visa status, and unlivable conditions brought me to my knees. In my darkest moments, with nothing left to lose, I let go of my ego—releasing judgment, expectations, and desires. I surrendered to the experience, acknowledging that I had come this far, and if this path was not meant for me, I would accept it with grace. I relinquished control, trusting that life would lead me in a direction I could not yet see. And in doing so, I practiced free will, recognising that my responses to challenges would shape the course of my future.
We are all in a constant dance with the Universe. Are we listening to its cues? Rejection becomes redirection. Failure invites a new approach. Having a vision for the future is important, but it’s equally crucial to remain adaptable. How do we respond when life surprises us?
At times, life feels like hope is lost. But I believe that this is the Universe’s way of protecting us from further heartbreak, even when we cannot see it. In those moments, we must pray, wait, and trust—knowing that the Universe has our back.
Two - Learn to Love Both the Highs and Lows of Life
Life is not a continuous stream of bliss (no matter how much we romanticise it). In truth, life is composed of about 80% challenges and only 20% triumphs. The true measure of our growth comes from how we show up for ourselves in the 80% of struggle, as it is this that enables us to fully appreciate the highs when they come.
As I mark my one-year anniversary in France on June 12, 2023, I am struck by how quickly time passes. The first 10 months were deeply challenging—soul-crushing, heart-breaking moments of despair that left me crying alone in my room, feeling rejected and defeated. Yet, I am profoundly grateful for these struggles. They taught me patience, helping me trust that the right time, opportunities, and people would eventually come. Slowly, life began to turn a corner: new work opportunities arose, I found an apartment, and forged friendships I can truly rely on.
The saying "this too shall pass" is no longer just a cliché to me—it’s a truth I now live by. Nothing in life is permanent, and both the good and the bad must be embraced in their time.
Three - Be Patient with Yourself as You Heal
This, above all, has been my greatest lesson. And it has been far from easy. Decades of self-doubt and unhealthy habits cannot be undone in a year. It requires ongoing, deliberate effort to rewire the mind and foster healthier, more compassionate self-love.
Having endured a difficult childhood that left me identifying with my trauma, I once lived only in survival mode, believing I wasn’t deserving of love. How could I, when the people who gave me life were no longer a part of it? Yet, through countless self-help books, podcasts, meditation, journaling, listening to my intuition, and prayer, I have come to realize that I am worthy of love. I am committed to healing, breaking free from the cycle of generational trauma, and evolving into the woman I am becoming. Each step I take on this journey is a step toward healing and growth—a continuous process, but one I embrace wholeheartedly.
"The wound is not my fault, but the healing is my responsibility." Marianne Williamson
I now understand why we are often told, "all that we are and desire reside within us"—because it is profoundly true.
The essence of who I am now, the Wiy I have become, has always been within me, though I once concealed it out of fear of judgment. No longer. I am committed to living authentically, embracing all that I am. My experiences, both my successes and failures, are mine to own. My life is mine to shape. I am at peace with the present moment and deeply grateful for all that has brought me here—the past, the present, and the unknown journey that lies ahead.
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