Haven't you heard this one before?
"Follow your heart and do what’s best for you!" It’s well-intentioned advice, but what people often leave out is that doing what’s best for you doesn’t always feel good. It can be messy, uncomfortable, and downright gut-wrenching.
I’m often caught between two schools of thought. On one hand, there’s the comforting mantra: “If something is truly meant for you, it should come with ease.” On the other hand, there’s the gritty wisdom: “The path is challenging because it’s shaping you to be the person you need to become.”
So, which is it? Are we supposed to float effortlessly toward our dreams, or crawl through the trenches to reach them?
From my experience, the truth leans heavily toward the latter. Things worth having were never meant to be easy. When life offers you the convenient choice, it’s tempting to take it. But convenience isn’t always aligned with fulfillment. That’s not to say you need to suffer unnecessarily to achieve your goals, but there’s a kind of friction—a challenge—that forces you to confront your deepest desires and ask, “Is this really what I want?”
And oh, have I been there.
At 20, I chose survival over education, trading dreams of academia for the immediate necessity of earning a living. It wasn’t easy, but it was right for me at that moment.
I’ve stepped back from friendships when our values no longer aligned. There’s a peculiar kind of heartbreak in outgrowing people you once felt inseparable from. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s necessary.
I’ve walked away from romantic partners who couldn’t provide the love and growth I needed. Staying would have been easier—who doesn’t dread being alone? But I knew that staying for fear of solitude would only erode my sense of self.
I’ve left my home country, enduring the sting of judgment from those who saw my move as a rejection of my roots. It wasn’t—it was a wholehearted embrace of my curiosity and adventurous spirit. Growth rarely takes place in comfort zones.
And perhaps most importantly, I’ve learned that stepping back is not the same as giving up. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is pause, reassess, and pivot toward the life you truly want. Taking a step back doesn’t mean you’re regressing; it means you’re recalibrating.
Right decisions don’t always feel right because we’re conditioned to weigh them against external expectations. We’re so busy asking, “What will people think?” that we forget to ask, “What do I think?” The discomfort often stems from the gap between what society deems acceptable and what our inner selves crave.
So, if you’re wrestling with a decision that feels more like a storm than a serene sunrise, know this: discomfort isn’t always a red flag. Sometimes, it’s the signpost pointing you toward your own growth. Doing what’s right for you may not always feel right in the moment, but with time, perspective, and a little courage, it often reveals itself as the only choice that ever truly was.
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